Easy A

When you look at the title you’re probably thinking I mean that adorkable little movie starring Emma Stone and hottie Penn Badgley, well, I’m not. 

Penn Badgley

Ask around about the best way to get an A and most people will tell you “Study hard”. Some people will tell you “Cheat.” With ideas of writing the answers on your hands or copying off the brainiac that sits in front of you or even stealing the answers ahead of time. But we all know that cheating AND stealing is wrong.  *scoffs. Yeah right we’ve all stolen something and cheated... Right?     Eh hem!

 
So we’ve all heard the rumors before you get an A through grief, but you may be wondering how exactly does that work. Well, pipe down and I’ll tell you… sorry I was channeling Tarantino al a Zoe Bell.




So it goes like this; a young, promising academia was having a hard time with his current semester in college, so much so that he was in danger of being placed on academic probation (basically if he fails 2 consecutive semesters without a feasible cause they can and would take away is financial aid awards & scholarships.) He is desperate for a solution, anything to keep him in school and ultimately make his family proud and provide a better life for himself.

He’d heard the stories before around the campus—if you roommate dies you get a free A for the entire semester. In his mind there are only 3 ways this is going to happen; murder, suicide, or natural causes. Figuring the latter was least likely he is left with either finding a sad depressed person who would kill himself with a bit of coaxing or muddying his hands and taking the life of another student. He frantically searched the campus for any student that showed the slightest sign of suicidal tendencies, with no luck.

With time quickly running out and the semester nearing its end he knew if he was going to pass it was time to take a risk.

He knew in order to get the A he couldn’t earn on his own he’d have to take it into his own hands and kill his roommate. To make himself feel better about the impending act he told himself “My roommate is getting what’s coming to him” and “He isn’t a good guy.”

 

Many variations of this tale exist varying from campus to campus and state to state so the ending depends on where you hear it. Some say the roommate needs to have been murdered, accidentally killed, or be sickly and dying which would earn the surviving roommate a 4.0. Other versions say to the A you must experience the death of a parent, close relative or a significant other (or lover).

In reality some school will consider you grief when it comes to grading but there is no know college that will give you that coveted 4.0/A for a semester for you loss of someone close to you, accidental or not.

See is in a movie—

                Dead Man on Campus - 1998- starring Tom Everett Scott, Mark-Paul Gosselarr, and Poppy Montgomery.
And
                Dead Man’s Curve -1998- starring Matthew Lillard and Keri Russell

So if this story were true could you and would you be so desperate and callous that you could take the life of another human? Helpless and innocent or downright wicked could you do it for a semester of A’s? I know that’s not the type of people you are… Right?

The Mexican Pet

There are so many Urban Legends out there I wasn't really sure where to start, I did some thinking and at the first thought of Urban Legends the one that really sticks out to me is The Mexican Pet, also known as the Mexican Rat.

Some variations of this Legend say it takes place in Africa, Spain and China. Variations also say the rat wasn't mistaken for a dog but a hamster or an armadillo. While I find the hamster aspect somewhat unlikely I find the armadillo aspect a little out there, and I by out there I mean way out there, past the stars and what was previously [and in my mind still is] the ninth planet in our solar system, the beloved Pluto.



Now on to the tale...

In the tradition of Urban Legends this came from a friend of a friend whose uncle dated this woman.

      A woman and her friends had planned a trip to Mexico. As they were shopping a stray dog began following them around. The woman took pity on the small animal and fed it, instantly falling in love she decided the animal had to come home with her. Animals were not to be taken over the border so the woman tucked the aminal under her shirt, pretending to be pregnant while they crossed. The woman slept peacefully that night with her new pet sleeping near by. Upon waking the next morning she found her dog to be extremely sick, so she took it the vet.

      At the vets office as the woman sat in the waiting room she got odd stares from others in the office. A nurse came into the waiting room and immediately escourted her to a room. When the doctor came in and examined the dog, he asked "Where did you get this dog?" Not wanting to reveal that she had smuggled a dog into the states she told the man she had found the dog wandering the streets near her work. After a bit of coaxing the woman gave in and told the man what she had done. He responded by telling her,
1) this is not a dog but a 50 pound Mexican sewer rat, and
2) it has a horrible disease and its dying.




While if this tale were 100% true, said rat would have to look something like this.

while being mistaken for this.

but if you have a small dog that is as adorable as this one

Beware, you could be mistaken.
You could have something like this adorable little fella tucked under your arm in that $1,500 hand bag.

There are multiple variations of this tale but the funniest one I found was where the woman smuggled what she thought was an armadillo over the border only to take it to vet and discover it was a mexican sewer rat wearing a turtle shell... Really?
Yes really! here's the link http://www.all-lies.com/legends/animals/mexicanpet.shtml




Come back soon for another Legend!!